Everything But Books
Fun and more fun, but none of it relating to books (because I have another page for that)

October 30, 2012

Dear Big Foot, Let’s Be Friends (Please)

Filed under: Uncategorized — lara @ 9:11 am

Dear Big Foot (I’d call you Sasquatch but that seems difficult),


I have always been very interested in you, but not for the same reason other people have. See, most people want to find you for the fame, the possible fortune or just to prove everybody that they are right about your existence. My reasoning is that you and I would be great friends. Now, I know that sounds crazy but it is true! To prove it, I have come up with different reasons as to why you and I would be great friends.


-You have weirdly big feet and I have weirdly small hands. We would balance each other out.  I can grab things in small to reach places for you and you could kick things that I need to be kicked.


-You have been spotted all across the country, which makes me think you like traveling. SO DO I! We could totally travel together and take the carpool lane.


-You like being alone. Honestly, so do I. I like my space and I think us being alone together would pay off because one could be a look out while the other is “being alone”.


-You’re tall and I’m short. This is basically like the big feet/small hands thing. You can reach into trees and get me things while I can crawl into small caves and get whatever you need.


-You walk a lot and I’m sure that gets annoying. I would totally let you barrow my car if you needed it. That’s what BFFs are for.


-According to a lot of research, you have bellow average hearing. UM HELLO! I have AMAZING hearing. You see how that would help?


-Apparently you’re between 600-800 pounds. Now, I’m not judging or anything but you can shed a few Lbs. and I’m sure your diet of rodents and deer wont help you with that. I can teach you yoga and we can go on morning jogs.


-We can go for manicure/pedicures together because I honestly don’t even want to see your feet at this point. Must be a mess.


Anyway Big Foot, can I call you Big? I feel like we should be on first name basis by now. I hope you consider all these because honestly I think we have something good here. If you want we can call the Loch Ness Monster but I’ve heard she’s kind of a show off. Have an amazing day and be careful, it’s flu season.



Your future BFF, Lara Yacoubian


PS- The shoe shopping we would do!

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